Distant Fields
by Hydra no Mago
Summary: Riku is a member of Galaxy Standard, the famous idol group known for its strict rules of banning their members from having a love life. Riku is passionate about his work, but what about Takeru, his boyfriend who is unacknowledged? Written from Takeru's POV. (TakeRiku/ AU/ based off Sarishinohara/ hurt/ angst)


**Takeru/Riku AU oneshot – in which Riku works for Galaxy Standard, an idol group with a glaringly unique rule and Takeru is Riku's bf.**

 **Story is based off of the song "Sarishinohara" sung by Rib, and based off of another true story. (If you're interested feel free to search it up.)**

* * *

 **Distant Fields**

 _ **You're not disheartened by the ordinary things, you and I are the same way.**_

"Oi, Takeru!" You run to me with your hand lifted in greeting, an easy yet brilliant smile placed on your face as usual. For the umpteenth time, my heart skips a beat, rendering my breathing to become uneven. "Wanna go have our lunch outdoors today?"

I nod to show my consent, and the grin you bestow upon me makes eating outdoors with all types of dirt flying into my white meat dish worth it. I pick up my lunch box and wait for you near the classroom entrance as you grab your bottle and a bun bought from the cafeteria.

As we reached the secluded benches hidden in the eaves of old trees, I took your hand in mine, to see you smile happily yet sadly.

That's right.

Stolen moments are all we can acquire. Holding hands out of sight, kissing in secret, the not-so-frequent calls and messages.

It's not that I don't understand what you're going through. I do. But for me, it's not enough. These chains which bind you and which in turn pull me down, they are cursed. But you Riku, you love what you do and I haven't a single right to deny you from that.

~.~.~.~

 _ **On the weekend, beyond the ticket gate, is the brightness of a first magnitude star.**_

I lined up to buy tickets to your show that day. The queue was insanely long, only the power of protein bars, protein shakes and karaage* lined with protein powder managed to keep me going. People were everywhere, of all ages and all types of weird, just waiting to buy a ticket and celebrating with their friends when they managed to do so.

Our school uniform was what I had on, but attire wasn't a big issue that moment. After all, most of your fans wore t-shirts with you and your team's faces printed on them, or caps of the same genre. Matching themed bracelets, phone straps, glow lights and the like were also sold at the merchandise stores while other salesmen tried to take advantage of the situation by selling imitations. To be honest, I felt a little jealous that I had to share you with so many others...

The lady at the booth greeted me nicely enough, I bought my ticket and was about to pay when she asked if I had a girlfriend. I queried as to why she would ask that sort of things to strangers, and she mentioned the sunflower I was holding in my hands. "If that's not for your girlfriend, then I don't know who it's for!" Typical. Receiving my ticket, I flashed a thin smile before waiting another number of minutes for the performance to start.

The signboard with you face on it, I stared at for more than was necessary.

~.~.~.~

 _ **Just ignore the rumours,**_

 _ **people are opportunists, it can't be helped.**_

When you first started as a band member of the famous idol band Galaxy Standard, you were ecstatic. It was your lifetime dream, you would say. The tough practice sessions did not deter you, nor did the gruesome amount of hard work you had to put in to maintain your position.

It didn't matter if you couldn't spend most of your time with me anymore, if you were happy then I was too. There was also the underlying fact that as an idol member of that group, strict rules were implemented on the issue of dating. " _Any form of dating or being in a romantic relationship with anyone is forbidden. This is because the idols do not belong only to one person, but is shared by everyone._ " That was the rule, and we managed to dance around it some.

However once you became a full-fledged first string member, the rumours started up like wildfire on a scorching day. The were fans and there were haters, both whom were a general nuisance. One would drown you in excessive love while the other pours lava over your head, creating a dent in your heart.

You cried, do you remember? After school, you had asked me to walk home with you and you cried on the way back because the pent-up pressure was too much for you. The tears you shed broke my heart piece by piece, the dull ache in my chest a reminder that I had failed to be beside you when you needed me.

I had hoped that the hug I gave you would at least be tight enough to glue all the broken shards of your soul back together.

I can only smile, when you smile. That's why _**60 trillion cells of mine were multiplied by your joy**_.

~.~.~.~

 _ **In front of a new door, I wonder if it isn't lonely, all by yourself,**_

 _ **and if you're thinking you'd rather die.**_

This wasn't your first concert, but for your team it was quite an important event. I understood that.

But Riku, you're a person who is easily panicked and overreacts to the smallest things, so this concert which aims to boost sales of your next live tour would be another high wall which you think you are unable to climb over. Without someone there to support you, your brain goes into overdrive most of the time.

Your teammates could hardly have been called anything close to the word 'friends'. In a dog eat dog world, especially in that idol group, everyone was only looking out for themselves in the end. They would use any means to stab you in the back if given the opportunity. Yet on the outside they act chummy as if you've been best buds with them for decades. This superposition of personalities is sickening to me, and I believe to you as well. Clenching your teeth, you could only bear with it.

You told me that sometimes, you had thought of escaping all this. Have you ever thought about death?

 _ **Even so I love you, no matter how dirtied your future,**_

 _ **even if you have a past you'd like to hide.**_

 _ **Even if that past is me.**_

~.~.~.~

 _ **I wave my hand in the front row, at the smile of the city's first-magnitude star.**_

You looked dashing in your performance attire, your loose blonde hair shining under the spotlights enough to rival pure gold. A smile, that fake smile, was put on for everyone to see. The crowd went wild with every move you made, every word you said, every line you sang.

I clutched the sunflower tighter to my chest, as if in fear I would lose it amongst the sea of people shouting your name.

 _ **Ah, love's sigh crosses through the seasons.**_

 _ **However many times I undress you, even if I try to kiss the screen,**_

 _ **we still don't meet, eye to eye.**_

Yet even if I were to stand right in front of you, I would be invisible. You had the crowd to entertain, it was your job and was your passion. For a person like me, dull and small, to be in a shouting body of people, I would blend in easily until nothingness remained.

Coming to this concert, I never expected you to notice me at all.

 _ **More than I thought,**_

 _ **your eyes are sharp, as if hunting prey.**_

 _ **More than I thought, those shoulders**_

 _ **are worked to the extreme, inside and out.**_

How were I to know that you would locate me with so much ease...

 _ **Even though I finally got to see you,**_

 _ **time speed up 100 times, until we torn apart.**_

The shocked look scrawled all over your features, the fear in your ruby orbs. They managed to combine into a deadly arrow shot to my heart.

Even so!

 _ **I want to touch you, I just want to touch them, one more time,**_

 _ **your soft palms.**_

~.~.~.~

I admit on my part, that my actions were a mistake. Rationally thinking, I have not achieved anything by it except landing us into more trouble.

Going up to you after your concert, presenting you with the sunflower I painstakingly grew and confessing to your team members and managers who surrounded you that I was your boyfriend was not a good move.

I am sorry for that, but at the same time I'm not.

How long must we play pretend? Due to a single rule, I hardly ever get to see you anymore. You never call, you never text me back, you never sent me a note to say that you were okay. You completely cut me off from your world, Riku.

And yet, I still love you. I love you Riku, I can't help it. I can't explain it to you so that you'd understand why I feel this way, for I don't even know myself.

So when you replied that I was "only a friend", my world shattered just as much as yours did.

~.~.~.~

 _ **In front of a new door, I wonder if it isn't lonely, all by yourself,**_

 _ **and if you're thinking you'd rather die.**_

A demotion, something which the rest of your friends and teammates have wished for ever since you became better than them. You would no longer be part of the main group, but sent off to a minor group whose name no one has ever heard of.

Your tears of frustration hurt me, but your sharp words of hate hurt me even more. Saying things like "It's all your fault" is fine, but "I never want to see you again" and "Get away from me" are what my heart cannot tolerate.

I should let you go.

I should apologise and stop seeing you.

I should dig myself a hole and lie in it.

But, I'm right here.

 _ **Hey, I'm right here. No matter how small my existence,**_

 _ **even if you end up stabbing me to death.**_

 _ **I'm right here for you,**_

 _ **So use me as you wish.**_

* * *

 ***karaage = fried chicken**

 **Hope you enjoyed the story! Wish to write more TakeRiku (take Riku, get it?) fics in future, ideas and prompts are much welcomed. :)**


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